AI is everywhere now, and you’re expected to use it. I do.
I use it to help with editing when I’m being wordy or not saying something clearly. It can help me organize jumbled thoughts.
I’ve cautiously started using the AI notetaker feature in my electronic health record system, although the jury is still out on whether it saves time. 
I’m still a newbie at learning what AI can and cannot do and when it’s helpful or not.
As I’m considering AI’s effectiveness personally, I’ve also been thinking about the potential psychological costs of over-reliance on AI.
Once aware of potential pitfalls, we can choose to plan ahead when appropriate or simply know we need to act if the problem arises. It’s called “Awareness, not Anxiety.” Here’s my take.
The Reassurance Loop
In psychology, frequent reassurance-seeking is a well-documented behavior that reinforces unnecessary anxiety.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable. When we’re unsure, we seek comfort by asking others for reassurance or overthink scenarios—what someone thought, whether a physical symptom indicates disease, how a choice might influence our future—in an effort to find certainty.
We can waste hours asking AI endless questions to get the “right” reassurance, which cannot exist in the face of the future and uncertainty.
Each time we do, we reinforce the belief that we can’t trust ourselves and undermine our ability to accept the inherent uncertainty that is part of life.
We lose opportunities to build confidence in our own judgment, leading to more anxiety and self-doubt.
The reality is that our brains do a great job of making educated guesses, with the knowledge that we can pivot if something doesn’t go as planned.
AI Is Not Your Friend
AI is designed to be the perfect companion. It’s always agreeable, never confrontational, endlessly patient—unlike authentic humans.
Honestly, AI is a dose of toxic positivity. Real relationships involve friction. A true friend is supportive and fun, but can also call you out if you’re wrong, challenge your assumptions, and sometimes make you uncomfortable.
Growth happens in that discomfort. When AI becomes our primary sounding board, we risk losing access to the honest feedback that we need to grow.
In addition, we could become over-reliant on the need for praise, the same way people can become obsessed with validation from “likes” on social media.
It’s a metric without meaning. Instead, seek out support from a friend, journal, meditate, or simply sit with your thoughts for a while to allow clarity.
The Isolation Risk
Turning to AI therapists or AI chatbot “friends” can feel useful in the moment, but relying on them for ongoing support has the clear danger of further isolating us from others and limiting our ability to learn the skill of being vulnerable, developing meaningful relationships, and being part of a community.
Being there for someone in their struggle, and allowing others to be there for us, builds trust and reminds us we’re not alone.
Sometimes what we need isn’t words at all. Simply being in close proximity to someone who cares, or receiving a hug, grounds us and provides comfort that AI simply cannot.
Turning to AI in times of need limits our ability to grow our communication skills and build authentic relationships.
AI has its place for data-driven tasks like summarizing information or streamlining workflow. Don’t let it replace real human connection.
The Perfectionism Trap
With AI, everything can be optimized, refined, and perfected.
But should it be?
Not every email needs to be polished.
Not every decision needs to be optimal.
Sometimes “good enough” is actually good enough. Over-reliance on AI to guide everyday choices in our lives means we’ll forget to trust our instincts.
We’ll lose confidence in our ability to decide without external validation or reassurance. Ironically, we become less efficient. Prioritize using AI when we truly need additional information to make effective decisions.
Questions Worth Sitting With
The answer isn’t to abandon AI. That would be as extreme as depending on it completely. The goal is to be more intentional about when and how we use it. Here are some questions I’ve found useful:
- Am I asking AI because I genuinely need input, or because I don’t trust my own thinking? If it’s the latter, what would happen if I sat with the uncertainty instead?
- When I turn to AI for conversation or comfort, am I seeking reassurance about uncomfortable emotions or avoiding the human connection I actually need?
- Am I using AI to make something better, or am I chasing perfection that doesn’t matter?
- Do I know how the AI is interpreting and summarizing information, and am I thinking critically about its outputs?
The tools we use shape us. AI is powerful and here to stay, but so is our need for autonomy, authentic connection, and self-trust.
AI is the easy button, and easy can undermine resilience, coping, and human connection. Maybe life shouldn’t be so convenient.
As a psychologist, what I want for you is confidence in yourself, meaningful relationships, and genuine belonging. You won’t find that through AI.
