Gratitude is the buzzword of Thanksgiving, a veritable cornucopia of social posts and heartfelt appreciation for all we have.
I mean, the holiday is named Thanks-giving! I appreciate calling our attention to the good things in life; however, gratitude needs to be more than a holiday hashtag.
Gratitude as an everyday practice can fundamentally shift how we move through life, helping us stay grounded, present, and more resilient. 
Gratitude Isn’t Toxic Positivity
Gratitude is the antithesis of pessimism, but not in the way you might think. It doesn’t deny that life is difficult or pretend struggles don’t exist. It helps us stay grounded in the reality that life can be hard AND we can find moments of good.
Gratitude fuels hope to move through difficult times. It provides balance. It’s the light, or Yin, to the Yang of crap.
When practiced consistently, gratitude offers a more balanced and human approach to an imperfect life.
The Science Backs This Up
Don’t just take my word for it. Research shows regularly practicing gratitude supports improved mental health, better sleep (particularly when practiced before bedtime), stronger relationships, and physical health improvements like lower blood pressure and better immune function.
These benefits build gradually with consistent practice, meaning you don’t have to be perfect at gratitude. Simply keep showing up for it.
When Gratitude Gets Real
Gratitude has hit me differently lately. Grief and loss have a way of doing that. Losing a dear friend who was a ray of sunshine and a wicked-smart colleague from graduate school, along with the declining health and loss of those who shepherded me throughout my life, feels more profound of late.
Yet, I have immense gratitude for the pain and sadness because it means I had the fortune of knowing people who touched my life in deep, meaningful ways. I can mourn the loss and hold space for that grief while also recognizing that their presence—however long or brief—was a gift. My gratitude these days shows up as kindness toward others, pausing before reacting, and showing up for people in ways that matter.
Practical Gratitude: The 3-2-1 Practice
An attitude of gratitude (a term I learned as an intern at Children’s Mercy Hospital) doesn’t magically appear overnight.
It takes intentional practice. Our brains are wired to notice the negative and fixate on problems.
Here’s my favorite gratitude practice—the 3-2-1—to grow gratitude as a more ingrained part of our lives and counter that negativity bias. With kids, I frame this as Roses, Buds, and a Seed.
3 Roses: what you appreciate right now
The things blooming in your life today. These don’t have to be profound. In fact, the smaller and more specific, the better:
- Hot coffee waiting when you wake up
- The stars on your evening walk or the warmth of sun on your face while walking
- The smell of fresh-cut grass or bright autumn leaves
- Hitting a green light or finding a parking spot right away
- A genuine greeting from a colleague or a text from a friend
- Your dog’s excitement when you come home
The point isn’t to manufacture big moments of gratitude. It’s to train your brain to notice the small things that put a smile on your face.
2 Buds: what you can look forward to TOMORROW.
How often do we live in rinse-and-repeat mode, just getting through the day only to feel relieved when it’s over?
This practice interrupts that cycle. Each day, look ahead to the next and identify two things, however small, that you can positively anticipate tomorrow. Don’t have any? Create them:
- Morning coffee on the porch with a meditation or a good book
- Calling or texting someone who makes you laugh
- Listening to your favorite music or showtunes
- Doing something creative or new
- Cooking or eating a meal you crave
- Moving your body, no matter how long or intense
These anchors help you move through hard days with something to hold onto, even when it’s small.
1 Seed: the good you see in yourself
This part matters most. Gratitude isn’t just about what’s around you. It’s about recognizing your own worth as a foundation for growth. What’s one thing you genuinely appreciate about who you are?
- A quality: compassion, honesty, kindness, clever, hard-working, curious, loyal
- A strength: good listener, thoughtful, problem-solver
- How you are a good friend: trustworthy, loyal, kind, considerate
- Something physical: your smile, your hands, your hair, your calves, your nose, your muscles
When you appreciate yourself—not just what you do, but who you are—you become less reactive to criticism, comparison, and the noise around you.
Gratitude in Action: Showing It to Others
Gratitude isn’t just an internal practice. Some of the most powerful moments come from expressing it to others:
- Be specific: Tell someone exactly what they did that mattered, not just “thanks for everything.”Â
- Reach out: Write a text or send a card to someone who’s been on your mind.Â
- Acknowledge effort, not just results: “I see how hard you’ve been working on this” means more than “great job.”
- Show up: Be present when someone needs you, is a powerful expression of gratitude for the relationship.
- Give grace: Offer understanding when someone is struggling.Â
These acts create meaningful connection. They remind us we’re not alone, and they build the kind of necessary relationships that help us through hard seasons.
Building Resilience Through Everyday Gratitude
Gratitude practice isn’t about manufacturing happiness or denying reality. It’s about building the capacity to notice. Notice what’s working, what brings small moments of peace, what you want more of in your life, and what’s good about yourself even on hard days.
When we practice this regularly, we’re training our brains to recognize resources, connections, and moments of calm even when life feels chaotic. That’s not denial. That’s resilience. Benefits build over time, creating a genuine shift in how we experience our lives.
Your Turn
How do you practice gratitude beyond the Thanksgiving season?
- What gratitude practice helps you stay grounded when life feels overwhelming or chaotic?
- What’s one way you’ve shown gratitude to someone recently that made a real difference?
I’d love to hear what works for you. Gratitude is personal.
There’s no perfect way.
Simply pause, notice, appreciate, and don’t forget to include yourself.
